YES, VIRGINIA, THERE ARE STUPID QUESTIONS

"There's no such thing as a stupid question." Yes, yes there are. There are many stupid questions and usually asked by equally stupid people. I'm not talking about kids. They have a right to ask stupid questions because that's how they learn. Adults, however, take stupid questions to a next-level art form.

Take, for example, one asked at an archaeology site outside of Philadelphia. The site dates to 1777. It's now 2012. The internet is widely available to all quite literally in the palm of their hands. Archaeologists and volunteers are working all day in the hot, humid summer conditions. A group of tourists walks over and watches as if the archaeologists are animals in a zoo. The following conversation occurs:

Adult tourist: "What's going on here?"

While a snarky response is possible, it is also perhaps a legit question to find out what they are looking for.

Lead archaeologist explains about the reason for the excavation for a Revolutionary War location.

Adult tourist, seems to be thinking a bit. Looks up the hill to the train tracks then back at the dig. "Well why didn't the soldiers just take the train out of Philly?"

Some of you may be saying, 'hey, he just wasn't thinking, it happens'. The problem is he WAS thinking, though clearly not well. He was that one guy who insisted on telling the experts everything HE learned in 5th grade history class. He even tried to argue the point when it was mentioned trains didn't exist then.

He went away truly believing we were wrong and they could have just hopped on a train in Philly to wherever they wanted to go.

The classic of all classic stupid questions, however, comes from another site in Philadelphia. Twenty years later and it's still told as the legend it deserves to be.

This particular site is pre-Revolutionary War, probably 1760's. It's a fort. Today it's in the direct flight path of Philadelphia International Airport and the planes can fly frighteningly low.

One day, as the story goes, a guide was giving the usual historic tour to a group of tourists. All adults. It was a particularly busy day for flights. As the group was crossing the grounds to another location one of the tourists, again, an adult, asked, "Why did they build the fort so close to the airport?".

In this instance the guide apparently didn't miss a beat and responded with "It was easier to catch the British as they landed via British Airways". No one knows what the tourists response was after that but it's safe to say he got the answer he deserved.

So yes, there are stupid questions. So very many stupid questions. Endlessly stupid questions.